A Special Kind of Love: The Nhlaphos
To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we at UniQ Magazine wanted to share a story that inspires us about the lasting power and strength that comes with real, honest love. The following is a love story of Dr Thuli and Londiwe Nhlapho.
Despite the last several years of increasing LGBT visibility, gay, lesbian and trans people still remain largely missing from traditional South African media when it comes to finding images and representations of themselves as romantic and loving couples. Valentine’s Day isn’t an exception to this rule. To celebrate Valentine’s Day, we at UniQ Magazine wanted to share a story that inspires us about the lasting power and strength that comes with real, honest love.
Finding each other
In a country where LGBTI+ individuals are constantly facing the wrath of conservative groups, standing proud as a queer couple is a marker of courage.
Dr Nhlapho and Londiwe met at what many may consider a chance meeting or a work of fate if you believe in that philosophy. When asked about their first meeting, the filminess of it caught my attention. “Our love journey began in April 2012, when I was invited by my friend to a surprise birthday of her girlfriend in Clermont. I immediately had a crush on Londiwe and began experiencing a warm and fuzzy feeling towards her, and my imagination started running wild. I approached her and we exchanged contacts,” said Dr Nhlapho. The first thing he noticed about her was her beautiful smile and kind voice and Londiwe later made an impression on Dr Nhlapho with her warm hug.
“On our first date I took her out for dinner at one of the most beautiful hotels in Durban and we spent the night together. It was the best first date! As soon as I laid eyes on her, the electricity of our connection lit up the room,” Dr Nhlapho’s excitement is palpable, as he recalls their meet. In nurturing their relationship, communication channels were open at all times.
Dr Nhlapho says he knew things were getting serious between them when they started to go to church together and Dr Nhlapho introduced Londiwe to his family and friends as proof that he wanted her to know more about his personal life and show her that he is not hiding her from the people he values the most. They also started to attend family gathering and events together. “Two years after we first met, we started to live together. In those days I was going through a lot of ups and downs but even at my worst she was still standing by my side. She never gave up, even when my ex-girlfriends provoked her, she never fought back, but she was always calm and humble. I knew she was the one when I would give her money to spoil herself but she would spend it on me or buy something that would benefit us both,” says Dr Nhlapho with pride. As I dig deeper about their first few meetings, it is clear that this couple has had their fair share of heartbreaks before reaching this place of peace.
“I knew I would marry her because every time we would talk about the future she would always say “WE”. When I planned something, I would always use the word “I” and she would immediately correct me to use the word “WE”. I also had 10 values that I was looking for in a woman of my calibre, namely Honesty and Trustworthiness which go hand in hand, Love of the family, Communication, Business minded, Financial management, Self-improvement, Self-discipline, Supportive and Inspiring. She had seven strong values out of the 10 so I decided to cover her three weaknesses as my partner because I loved her,” explains a smitten Dr Nhlapho.
Three years later, Dr Nhlapho took Londiwe to a jewellery shop to fit the ring of her choice. He then promised her that he’ll organise an engagement party the following year. A month later he bought the ring and waited for the right moment to officially propose. The opportunity arose after a weekend away visiting family at Eshowe. When they arrived home Londiwe was exhausted and complained of being tired and wanting to take a nap while Dr Nhlapho offloaded the luggage from the car. He then took the opportunity to kneel down and ask her to marry him. Londiwe was so surprised and speechless, but she said yes and made Dr Nhlapho the happiest person on earth.
They tied the knot at a special ceremony shared with family and friends and the couple has been married for eight years now. “The most special part of our wedding was my surprise birthday party on the same day and seeing both families believe in and respect our same sex marriage and giving us their blessings,” recalls Dr Nhlapho.
The couple has kept the romance and fun in their marriage by always being there for each other, sharing ideas and responsibilities, respect and spending quality time, and putting the other spouse first. Lots of sex, flirting and daydreaming together has also kept this couple together. The couple says they celebrate Valentine’s Day every day as they love each other unconditionally.
“Our hopes for the rest of our marriage is to put God first in our lives as He is faithful and that alone gives us hope in our marriage. We teach our children how to love each other and we want to grow old together,” concludes Dr Nhlapho.
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